One might think that Wonka’s Chocolate Factory is the best choice for many reasons. Obviously Wonka’s Chocolate Factory is one of the most bad ass places on earth. It has got everything you could ever want. Is has a forest full of giant psychedelic edible mushrooms with a chocolate river running through it, lickable wall paper and an assortment of the most enchanting candies one could ever think of. It even has orange midgets with green hair that sing awesome songs that have uncanny rhymes. But are the Oompa-Loompas really that sweet? No, they are fucking dicks! Every time you want to have a little fun in Wonka’s factory they march right in, in their stark white overalls (maybe if they spent more time making some candy and less time being assholes they would have a little chocolate stains on those things) and kick you the fuck out! And if you try and complain Wonka just says it’s in that literal wall of a contract of size 8 font and who are you to contradict him, he only gave you twelve seconds to read it before he rushed you down a hallway with a 2x2 ft. door at the end. And if the company inside isn’t bad enough look at the kind of riffraff Wonka lets into his place. You’ve got the dumb chick who chews gum and never shuts up, the girl who so spoiled Richy Rich’s family probably couldn’t support, an annoying kid that glues his eyes to the tv and the German kid who blitzkriegs the chocolate river. The only badass in the joint is Charlie’s grandpa who sits in bed all day and eats soup.
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| Yes I do sword fight with a cigar in my mouth, thank you for asking |
Moving on to James’s giant peach. Now most of us really wouldn’t choose to eat peaches for a whole week but it’s a lot more appetizing than eating straight sugar. As for the company inside the peach it balls harder than Michael Jordan. You have got Grasshopper, Ladybug, Miss Spider, Earthworm and who could forget Centipede, he is an OG smoking a cigar in a kid’s movie! Even if you lasted a day in Wonka’s factory abiding to all his ridiculous rules that’s all you would really need in there, I mean the tour lasts only one day. It would be torture listening to all the Oompa-Loompas singing their songs while suffering from migraines as a result of only eating sugar. On James’s peach you get to battle fucking giant metal sharks, how’s that for adrenaline! And if that’s not enough for you try going to the north pole and battling with skeletal pirates!
One might think that Wonka’s Chocolate Factory is the best choice for many reasons. Obviously Wonka’s Chocolate Factory is one of the most bad ass places on earth. It has got everything you could ever want. Is has a forest full of giant psychedelic edible mushrooms with a chocolate river running through it, lickable wall paper and an assortment of the most enchanting candies one could ever think of. It even has orange midgets with green hair that sing awesome songs that have uncanny rhymes. But are the Oompa-Loompas really that sweet? No, they are fucking dicks! Every time you want to have a little fun in Wonka’s factory they march right in, in their stark white overalls (maybe if they spent more time making some candy and less time being assholes they would have a little chocolate stains on those things) and kick you the fuck out! And if you try and complain Wonka just says it’s in that literal wall of a contract of size 8 font and who are you to contradict him, he only gave you twelve seconds to read it before he rushed you down a hallway with a 2x2 ft. door at the end. And if the company inside isn’t bad enough look at the kind of riffraff Wonka lets into his place. You’ve got the dumb chick who chews gum and never shuts up, the girl who so spoiled Richy Rich’s family probably couldn’t support, an annoying kid that glues his eyes to the tv and the German kid who blitzkriegs the chocolate river. The only badass in the joint is Charlie’s grandpa who sits in bed all day and eats soup.
didnt read the article but definitely wonka's factory. the potential for an oompa loompa bukake is just too high to choose otherwise.
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